Celebration time COME ON!
WOOT! Exams are virtually over. I've got a bio schol paper to go, but that's in a week. Plenty of time to get worked up over it in a bit, but not yet! Right now..Free and EASY!
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Friday, November 24, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
A month....and exams...........
Arrrggghhh! To think that for 4-5ish months that i've been here, i never really missed home so much, but now, just 2 days before exam....
I MISS HOME!
I miss all y'alls, going out, hanging at OU, playing futsal, chatting randomly.
Dammit! I can't wait to get back!
Sick of studying. Want exams to come and go and be done with. Can't wait 3 weeks til i actually fly back. Been having weird dreams lately, where i open a door in NZ, and i'm back in msia, then walk thru another door, and i'm back here in NZ. Weird eh?
Anyways, just as a reminder to myself, here's my exam schedule:
Nov 20th, Monday, 1.40pm-Media Studies 1 down, 6 to go..sick sick!
Nov 22nd, Wednesday, 9.10am-English Done! 5 to go..Bring it!
Nov 25th, Saturday, 1.40pm-Chemistry Schol. Hardest. Bloody. Paper. Ever
Nov 27th, Monday, 9.10am-Chemistry Getting closer!
Nov 29th, Wednesday, 9.10am-Calculus Bio bio BIO all the way!
Nov 30th, Thursady, 9.10am-Biology Exams virtually over!!
Dec 7th, Thursday, 9.10am-Biology Schol. D-O-N-E.
NSN:0120388187
I have not seriously 'touched' my books. I feel so underprepared.
I MISS HOME!
I miss all y'alls, going out, hanging at OU, playing futsal, chatting randomly.
Dammit! I can't wait to get back!
Sick of studying. Want exams to come and go and be done with. Can't wait 3 weeks til i actually fly back. Been having weird dreams lately, where i open a door in NZ, and i'm back in msia, then walk thru another door, and i'm back here in NZ. Weird eh?
Anyways, just as a reminder to myself, here's my exam schedule:
Dec 11th, Monday - I'M COMIN' HOME!
NSN:0120388187
I have not seriously 'touched' my books. I feel so underprepared.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Through the Looking Glass
Have you ever been in a situation where you feel so detached from everyone around you? It's like looking through a window, peeping into someone else's life, being there yet not there. It was rather amusing yet, at the same time, pretty awkward.
It happened to me today. Graduation day, last day at school, whatever you wanna call it. But finally, i'm outta high school/college..for LIFE! Actually, it hasnt really quite sunk in yet, since i still DO have exams in about a week, spanning for like 3 weeks. But then, in that hall today, i was surrounded by people talking about "good 5 years in Rangi", and "i grew up here" and then there was me, impassive towards it all, unfeeling, totally detached.
Sure, it's the last day of school, i'm rather glad that school's out, but amidst the people hugging each other and crying and rushing around to get their pictures taken, i can't help but wonder at why i'm so unfeeling, and whether i'm just missing out on something. It was well and truly awkward to say the least, watching people cry and catching parts of conversations where people were reminiscing, and all i did was stand around, watching people, and took a few shots here and there, stealing into some group photos.
It happened to me today. Graduation day, last day at school, whatever you wanna call it. But finally, i'm outta high school/college..for LIFE! Actually, it hasnt really quite sunk in yet, since i still DO have exams in about a week, spanning for like 3 weeks. But then, in that hall today, i was surrounded by people talking about "good 5 years in Rangi", and "i grew up here" and then there was me, impassive towards it all, unfeeling, totally detached.
Sure, it's the last day of school, i'm rather glad that school's out, but amidst the people hugging each other and crying and rushing around to get their pictures taken, i can't help but wonder at why i'm so unfeeling, and whether i'm just missing out on something. It was well and truly awkward to say the least, watching people cry and catching parts of conversations where people were reminiscing, and all i did was stand around, watching people, and took a few shots here and there, stealing into some group photos.
Couple of shots i stole into (=p), the 2nd one was taken yesterday, and i was like halfway over the wall when the librarian chased us down lol.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Surreal
So surreal how my high school-life ends forever in 2 days.
Surreal how exam's in 2 weeks, the one that matters, and yet i haven't gotten serious,
Surreal how i've prided myself in giving my all, yet feel no compulsion to do so now,
Surreal how i'll be back in under 2 months..among friends, among loved ones.
Surreal how what i do now will determine, in about 4 months, whether i was a disappointment and a mistake, or whether i turned out alright after all.
Most surreal how the one i want to see is you, but i don't know what i'll do then.
Life? i'm just floating along..and it all seems so..surreal.
Surreal how exam's in 2 weeks, the one that matters, and yet i haven't gotten serious,
Surreal how i've prided myself in giving my all, yet feel no compulsion to do so now,
Surreal how i'll be back in under 2 months..among friends, among loved ones.
Surreal how what i do now will determine, in about 4 months, whether i was a disappointment and a mistake, or whether i turned out alright after all.
Most surreal how the one i want to see is you, but i don't know what i'll do then.
Life? i'm just floating along..and it all seems so..surreal.
"I never asked to be given the life i was given, but it was given nonetheless..and with it, I will do my best"- R.I.P. Mr Ecko
Friday, November 03, 2006
Have you ever watched a love story, especially the ones with happy endings (I know, what am i talking about right? They ALL have happy endings nowadays.), and wished that somehow, someway somewhere, it could happen to you?
It's just a story! Unrealistic! Impossible! you say. But you wanna believe anyway that it's possible, no..probable in life. Call me sensitive, call me romantic, call me gay, call me whatever the fuck you want, but if i could have one wish at this very moment, i'd wish for that "Happily Ever After" that we all see on screens, with its buildup, and its intensity, and its perfection. I know, i may have slobbed off love, may have written it off, but when you feel like your heart's going to burst, when it feels like no one cares about you, when it feels like you're all alone, we all look to the ones we love don't we? Look to them to give meaning to our lives, to verify our very existences and prove to ourselves that we aren't alive for nothing. Maybe, just maybe, though it isn't necessarily the whole reason we're alive, this love, from the people whom we love, is what makes life really worth living.
To be honest? I don't really know where i'm going with this, but hell, on that subject, maybe human beings are just too concerned about appearances to actually live life, hang it all and go for the things that really matter. Nowadays, it's all about money, money, and more money. Guys think money drags in the girls, the sex, the cars, and the friends. Girls think money brings in slobbering hot guys, endless shopping and daily pampering. So what do we do? We slave our asses off, day and night, night and day, to make MORE money. We try to look good to get more money, we use our money to appear superior, and then, we use our superiority to isolate ourselves from others. On the surface, everything appears to be calm and good, but look underneath, you'll see undercurrents everywhere-a web of jealousy, deceit, lies, schemes and other dastardly deeds.
Just like our beloved country Malaysia. We all say we're multicultural. We claim to be living together harmoniously. Bullshit. Look in any government school. Look in any school for that matter. Cliques exist everywhere. Chinese hang with chinese, indians hang with indians and malays hang with malays. Sure, you get the odd one or two groups with a random other race, but that's about it. We overglorify the malay language, saying it's OH so FUCKING important, but guess what? IT WAS A FUCKING WASTE OF 10 YEARS OF MY LIFE. Yep, you got that right. I mean, if you think about it, the only other place malay would be useful is Indonesia. Yes, the Indonesia which burns down trees 'coz they assume the smoke just disappears and doesn't get blown over to your country, causing haze, then claim it's not their fault.
Then we have the ever so Noble subject of Moral. You know, i actually learnt a lot from moral. I learnt about how much hypocritical bullshit students are put through nowadays. I learnt about how so many people do not practice the stuff that they preach. I learnt about how life's a bitch and that humans aren't perfect. None of this however, contributed to any of the actual morals i hold today (depending on who you are, your opinions on this may vary). Learning moral, isnt helping to decrease the country's corruption rate. It isn't reducing the number of gangfights. It isn't creating revelations in the minds of people. My question is, what point is there to it?
Remember how everyday you go to school, and you think.."Who am i to them again? Right..good boy, get your act together! Act the way you're sposed to.." wearing a mask, so as not to stand out too much or stand out too little. Now i don't know if anyone but me has felt this before, but wearing a mask, it's not easy. You keep up that front every step of the way, trying to be the person everyone expects you to be. Since you're different around different people, sooner or later, you suddenly find that you have 2 masks, 3, then 6..suddenly it becomes 10! And out of nowhere, you suddenly find that you've lost yourself..the real you, behind all those masks, is just another mask now.
I feel like, almost everyone around wears those masks, day in and day out, and for some reason, it frustrates me to no end! I wish i could just RIP them all off, cut thru all the bullshit, and just really get to know the people beneath the people. Have you ever given a random excuse for something, which was hardly believable but acceptable, because the real reason was something you're ashamed to tell? I know i have. And i really wonder, why do i have to do this? Then i honestly don't know!
So, the worst kind of people are the professional bullshitters. They know quite a bit of stuff, but appear to know a lot, because they use big words, wrap it up in long, complex sentences to try to explain things that they don't really understand completely, but for the sake of looking smart, cannot confess that they do not understand completely, and so tries to string long, big words together, citing related issues but not directly answering the question, in an attempt to confuse the other person. There! Did you see what i just did? I HATE these kinds of people with a passion. I honestly believe that if you don't know, say you don't know..please. Save yourself and other people the trouble.
*Cough* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit*Cough*
Ps: I think watching Will Smith makes me curse a lot. Just 'coz he does it well, and looks sooo damn smooth doing it. (See, i just did it again)
Peace out.
It's just a story! Unrealistic! Impossible! you say. But you wanna believe anyway that it's possible, no..probable in life. Call me sensitive, call me romantic, call me gay, call me whatever the fuck you want, but if i could have one wish at this very moment, i'd wish for that "Happily Ever After" that we all see on screens, with its buildup, and its intensity, and its perfection. I know, i may have slobbed off love, may have written it off, but when you feel like your heart's going to burst, when it feels like no one cares about you, when it feels like you're all alone, we all look to the ones we love don't we? Look to them to give meaning to our lives, to verify our very existences and prove to ourselves that we aren't alive for nothing. Maybe, just maybe, though it isn't necessarily the whole reason we're alive, this love, from the people whom we love, is what makes life really worth living.
To be honest? I don't really know where i'm going with this, but hell, on that subject, maybe human beings are just too concerned about appearances to actually live life, hang it all and go for the things that really matter. Nowadays, it's all about money, money, and more money. Guys think money drags in the girls, the sex, the cars, and the friends. Girls think money brings in slobbering hot guys, endless shopping and daily pampering. So what do we do? We slave our asses off, day and night, night and day, to make MORE money. We try to look good to get more money, we use our money to appear superior, and then, we use our superiority to isolate ourselves from others. On the surface, everything appears to be calm and good, but look underneath, you'll see undercurrents everywhere-a web of jealousy, deceit, lies, schemes and other dastardly deeds.
Just like our beloved country Malaysia. We all say we're multicultural. We claim to be living together harmoniously. Bullshit. Look in any government school. Look in any school for that matter. Cliques exist everywhere. Chinese hang with chinese, indians hang with indians and malays hang with malays. Sure, you get the odd one or two groups with a random other race, but that's about it. We overglorify the malay language, saying it's OH so FUCKING important, but guess what? IT WAS A FUCKING WASTE OF 10 YEARS OF MY LIFE. Yep, you got that right. I mean, if you think about it, the only other place malay would be useful is Indonesia. Yes, the Indonesia which burns down trees 'coz they assume the smoke just disappears and doesn't get blown over to your country, causing haze, then claim it's not their fault.
Then we have the ever so Noble subject of Moral. You know, i actually learnt a lot from moral. I learnt about how much hypocritical bullshit students are put through nowadays. I learnt about how so many people do not practice the stuff that they preach. I learnt about how life's a bitch and that humans aren't perfect. None of this however, contributed to any of the actual morals i hold today (depending on who you are, your opinions on this may vary). Learning moral, isnt helping to decrease the country's corruption rate. It isn't reducing the number of gangfights. It isn't creating revelations in the minds of people. My question is, what point is there to it?
Remember how everyday you go to school, and you think.."Who am i to them again? Right..good boy, get your act together! Act the way you're sposed to.." wearing a mask, so as not to stand out too much or stand out too little. Now i don't know if anyone but me has felt this before, but wearing a mask, it's not easy. You keep up that front every step of the way, trying to be the person everyone expects you to be. Since you're different around different people, sooner or later, you suddenly find that you have 2 masks, 3, then 6..suddenly it becomes 10! And out of nowhere, you suddenly find that you've lost yourself..the real you, behind all those masks, is just another mask now.
I feel like, almost everyone around wears those masks, day in and day out, and for some reason, it frustrates me to no end! I wish i could just RIP them all off, cut thru all the bullshit, and just really get to know the people beneath the people. Have you ever given a random excuse for something, which was hardly believable but acceptable, because the real reason was something you're ashamed to tell? I know i have. And i really wonder, why do i have to do this? Then i honestly don't know!
So, the worst kind of people are the professional bullshitters. They know quite a bit of stuff, but appear to know a lot, because they use big words, wrap it up in long, complex sentences to try to explain things that they don't really understand completely, but for the sake of looking smart, cannot confess that they do not understand completely, and so tries to string long, big words together, citing related issues but not directly answering the question, in an attempt to confuse the other person. There! Did you see what i just did? I HATE these kinds of people with a passion. I honestly believe that if you don't know, say you don't know..please. Save yourself and other people the trouble.
*Cough* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit*Cough*
Ps: I think watching Will Smith makes me curse a lot. Just 'coz he does it well, and looks sooo damn smooth doing it. (See, i just did it again)
Peace out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)