Have you ever watched a love story, especially the ones with happy endings (I know, what am i talking about right? They ALL have happy endings nowadays.), and wished that somehow, someway somewhere, it could happen to you?

It's just a story! Unrealistic! Impossible! you say. But you wanna believe anyway that it's possible, no..probable in life. Call me sensitive, call me romantic, call me gay, call me whatever the fuck you want, but if i could have one wish at this very moment, i'd wish for that "Happily Ever After" that we all see on screens, with its buildup, and its intensity, and its perfection. I know, i may have slobbed off love, may have written it off, but when you feel like your heart's going to burst, when it feels like no one cares about you, when it feels like you're all alone, we all look to the ones we love don't we? Look to them to give meaning to our lives, to verify our very existences and prove to ourselves that we aren't alive for nothing. Maybe, just maybe, though it isn't necessarily the whole reason we're alive, this love, from the people whom we love, is what makes life really worth living.

To be honest? I don't really know where i'm going with this, but hell, on that subject, maybe human beings are just too concerned about appearances to actually live life, hang it all and go for the things that really matter. Nowadays, it's all about money, money, and more money. Guys think money drags in the girls, the sex, the cars, and the friends. Girls think money brings in slobbering hot guys, endless shopping and daily pampering. So what do we do? We slave our asses off, day and night, night and day, to make MORE money. We try to look good to get more money, we use our money to appear superior, and then, we use our superiority to isolate ourselves from others. On the surface, everything appears to be calm and good, but look underneath, you'll see undercurrents everywhere-a web of jealousy, deceit, lies, schemes and other dastardly deeds.

Just like our beloved country Malaysia. We all say we're multicultural. We claim to be living together harmoniously. Bullshit. Look in any government school. Look in any school for that matter. Cliques exist everywhere. Chinese hang with chinese, indians hang with indians and malays hang with malays. Sure, you get the odd one or two groups with a random other race, but that's about it. We overglorify the malay language, saying it's OH so FUCKING important, but guess what? IT WAS A FUCKING WASTE OF 10 YEARS OF MY LIFE. Yep, you got that right. I mean, if you think about it, the only other place malay would be useful is Indonesia. Yes, the Indonesia which burns down trees 'coz they assume the smoke just disappears and doesn't get blown over to your country, causing haze, then claim it's not their fault.

Then we have the ever so Noble subject of Moral. You know, i actually learnt a lot from moral. I learnt about how much hypocritical bullshit students are put through nowadays. I learnt about how so many people do not practice the stuff that they preach. I learnt about how life's a bitch and that humans aren't perfect. None of this however, contributed to any of the actual morals i hold today (depending on who you are, your opinions on this may vary). Learning moral, isnt helping to decrease the country's corruption rate. It isn't reducing the number of gangfights. It isn't creating revelations in the minds of people. My question is, what point is there to it?

Remember how everyday you go to school, and you think.."Who am i to them again? Right..good boy, get your act together! Act the way you're sposed to.." wearing a mask, so as not to stand out too much or stand out too little. Now i don't know if anyone but me has felt this before, but wearing a mask, it's not easy. You keep up that front every step of the way, trying to be the person everyone expects you to be. Since you're different around different people, sooner or later, you suddenly find that you have 2 masks, 3, then 6..suddenly it becomes 10! And out of nowhere, you suddenly find that you've lost yourself..the real you, behind all those masks, is just another mask now.

I feel like, almost everyone around wears those masks, day in and day out, and for some reason, it frustrates me to no end! I wish i could just RIP them all off, cut thru all the bullshit, and just really get to know the people beneath the people. Have you ever given a random excuse for something, which was hardly believable but acceptable, because the real reason was something you're ashamed to tell? I know i have. And i really wonder, why do i have to do this? Then i honestly don't know!

So, the worst kind of people are the professional bullshitters. They know quite a bit of stuff, but appear to know a lot, because they use big words, wrap it up in long, complex sentences to try to explain things that they don't really understand completely, but for the sake of looking smart, cannot confess that they do not understand completely, and so tries to string long, big words together, citing related issues but not directly answering the question, in an attempt to confuse the other person. There! Did you see what i just did? I HATE these kinds of people with a passion. I honestly believe that if you don't know, say you don't know..please. Save yourself and other people the trouble.

*Cough* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit*Cough*

Ps: I think watching Will Smith makes me curse a lot. Just 'coz he does it well, and looks sooo damn smooth doing it. (See, i just did it again)

Peace out.