When forever just doesn't seem to be enough..

Have you ever felt good..so good you wish that it would last forever, and then some more? I'm not just talking about a moment, but maybe an hour, an occasion, a holiday, a date, a streak of luck. Inevitably, you know it will come to an end. Invariably, the spell is broken, the high is gone, and you crash, but still somehow you hold on to the slimmest of chances that it would go on forever and ever. You hold on for as long as you possibly can, while knowing that lasts that long, knowing that hoping for it to will only increase your disappointment when it all comes to a screeching halt, just like that dream life, falling apart at the ring of your alarm clock. I have.

I've just gotten back to NZ from a holiday in M'sia, probably my best ever so far. Honestly, it isn't that NZ is that bad or anything. It's more of the coming back to earth, realising i have to get to uni, do well in my studies, socialise, make more friends, join clubs and maybe get a job, clean up my act, help mom more, among the other million and two things i hope to achieve this year. Coming to terms with my actual results where it mattered(back here in NZ)..knowing that when all was said and done, i'd disappointed myself and lotsa people around me yet again was seriously a slap in the face. It's like coming off of a high(and no..i don't take drugs) and realising how empty your life can be sometimes, a wake up call telling me "Grow up and face reality boy!"

And it's true. The reality is, as much as i want to believe it, i'm not naturally better than anyone or everyone else without any effort, and even then, i'm not the best out there, and may never ever be. Reality is the fact that one can never have all that they want, just like i know i'll never get the one person i'd give anything just to be able to easily reach, be it face to face, through the phone or even through text. It's time to face the fact that i'm 19 this year, almost time to grow up, take care of myself and hopefully my parents too, and yet i feel so unready, as if i've missed out a chapter in this book called "How to Live Life" that everyone's supposed to have read. And That, is the truth of my life thusfar. It's time to close that chapter..make new beginnings and hopefully be who i really am in uni, starting tomorrow.

As i said, it's time for me grow up and face the world.

Ps: To all the people in M'sia who were so awesome to me, the title is dedicated to y'all. Even spending forever with you guys would never be enough for me. Honestly, Thank you!