The Void

Hey y'alls!
Exams are coming and all. I don't think it's just for me, but for most people as well. God, do we hate exams! But hey, i may speak only for myself, but i would prefer exams that count, where we can study our hearts out for it, than coursework that counts, where u have to work hard nearly everyday, to ensure u get a good grade. Probably it's another instance of me being lazy again hehe.

Have you ever been "in the zone" as some people call it? I don't really know how to describe it, and it's really like one of those abstract things, like love, where you think you feel it, but you can never be quite sure it's there. My opinion on what it is, and my perspective of what i think it is, is that it's a state of heightened concentration, where your brain, and all your attention is focused on one thing, and one thing alone. I find that an integral part of taking exams to me, as i believe it really helps me in ways-like, if you kinda know something, but it's stuck at the back of your head somewhere n won't come out, being "in the zone" that'll never happen. It's as if you know things you dont normally know, and the things u know are so basic. You remember things you've read like ages ago, and minutes before the exam, had no time to even contemplate it. You just know what you want, and you're totally caught and focused in that moment in time. The consequences, forgotten..the results, totally irrellevant. All that matters is that particular subject of your attention-the question.

However, I think there are drawbacks. First off, it's not easy to get "into the zone", and it's like creating a void around yourself to create that sense of concentration. You block out everything and everyone, so time, sound, taste, weakness, illness..all suddenly become less important. It's all good during and before that period of time, but afterwards, the longer you keep it up, the more drained you'll be. I mean it, emotionally, physically, mentally...you'll feel totally devoid of substance. A shell of your person, it's made me lose my purpose today, and all i really want to do now, is nothing.

I can think of nothing, u could say anything, i wouldnt feel anything, and physically, my body feels like doing nothing that requires too much concious effort. It is times like these that i feel like i'm in a bubble, trapped, separated and alienated from the outside world. Their laughs dont reach me, their smiles fall short on me, their sorrow, pain and suffering are inconsequential to me. This..void I have built around me slowly saps on my energy lvls as well as my emotions.

I'm thankful that i am able to reach a state of heightened concentration, which i believe puts me "in the zone", but then again, it's a bother having to reassess your motivations and remind yourself that there is a long way to go after one of these intense concentration periods.

But yes, the purpose of this post..I have already forgotten. However, I hope u find it useful, or at the very least, let this be a record of my true feelings at this very time, in this very place.